The Best Neighbor a Girl Could Have

"Giving connects two people, the giver and the receiver, and this connection gives birth to a new sense of belonging"

Deepak Chopra

Have you ever met one of those people who just seem to fill the empty spaces in your heart?

Fourteen years ago, both of my grandparents passed away within six months of each other. I was a senior in high school. Two years later, my mom, died from a short and intense fight with lung cancer. Over the next couple of years, I had an aunt and an uncle whom I loved also pass away. It was such a painful and sad time for my family and for myself. I was very close to all of my lost relatives and feeling a bit lost myself at that time. My mom had always been my strength, my best friend, someone who was always there for me to talk to.

It was so painful to lose those people from my life. There is something unique about the relationships you have with someone from a different generation. You gain wisdom and comfort from someone who has lived life and watched the world change over the last 50-80 years. I was in desperate need of someone from my mom's and grandparents' generations.

When we moved to Oregon in 2001, we came here with no family, friends, or contacts. We moved into this neighborhood in the fall of 2003, hoping to turn this small fixer into a home and someday profit from our investment. Well, the financial benefit of this purchase has not been rewarding, but the friendships made have been. I mentioned in my very first post that we have great neighbors. We have been fortunate (even our mailman is the nicest guy!).

A few months passed, when I finally met our next door neighbor, Mrs. Sewell. She had recently lost her husband. At first she did not seem incredibly friendly, but thanked me for some baked goods I had made for the holidays. Slowly over time, we began to become closer. I remember the times she would bring me bags of chocolate or brownie mix or other items back from her trip to the local market. She was always so giving in this way, never expecting or accepting help of money from me.

I remember thinking...who is this 80+ year old lady who still rides her bike to the store, spends hours at a time on hand and knee gardening,picking weeds leaves up off of her (and my) lawn, and manages to give all that she has to others. Always looking for an opportunity to help. Mrs. Sewell was someone to look up to and aspire to replicate her generous spirit. She often would send well packed care packages to a friend in Tennessee. Mrs Sewell never asked for anything in return....mostly refusing any payment for babysitting and other help she provided me.

Over the last 5 years since moving into this house, Mrs. Sewell has become more than a neighbor, she has been a dear friend to me. There to listen to all the drama of my life, without judgement. Despite the 50 year age difference, we often found that we had some similarities in our lives. She was a grandmother to my two girls. Mrs. Sewell has filled a void in our lives. Unexpected but needed.

Unfortunately, this posting is not just to celebrate a great neighbor, but as my way to say goodbye to her. Over the holidays this year she became terribly sick from infection. She was strong, fighting it off, almost to the point of being released from the nursing home, but more infection persisted. My once "strong as nails" friend had been weakened by this. It was hard to see her so frail. It was hard to let her go, knowing she did not have much time left with us.

One morning, last week, the news of her death came from her daughter, Donna. I had expected this news, but still was shocked. The days since every time I drive up to her house, passing it, to park in my own driveway it becomes a little more real. That face at my kitchen table with a half cup of coffee and the latest insight on neighborhood goings on. The chat across fences, her listening intently to me offering advice, Audrey asking to go to Gramma's house. I will miss it so so much.

Mrs Sewell...

As I go today, to spend time in your home, with your family and friends, remembering you and witnessing all the life you have touched. I will carry these thoughts and feelings with me. I am happy for you to finally be with your husband and free of pain. I am sad to have lost such a special person in my life. You will be remembered and loved.

xoxo

Roxanne

Lucky lass